According to Tooele County health Website –Tooele is a little place in Utah. You know that state that borders Nevada that isn’t California— well, anyway according to their website watching television burns approximately 75 calories an hour.  But, I would have to say watching black holes implode and galaxies crash into each other bumped it up to a good 80 calories per hour.  Of course, factoring in the chips and salsa, I was probably consuming about 80 calories every five minutes.  So some quick math tells us I lost approximately negative 880 calories. Darn.

A while ago I did step outside to move the trash can from the back yard to the front, but it was my roommates turn to take the garbage out this weak so I didn’t have to go anywhere. Now,  If the only exercise I get comes from me moving garbage about 20 meters only once every two weeks, I don’t know if I am going to maintain this physique I have.

Imagine that same body except for with hair on the chest and about 20 percent body fat.  Oh yeah, and subtract all the muscle that seems to be protruding.  Yup that is me.  But I fear I may become out of shape if I do not shake this dangerous sedentary lifestyle that I have so comfortably seemed to fall into.

There is actually a rebounder where I work and I love trying to use it. Everytime I search about rebounder benefits on the coumputer I’m always inspired to go hop on the dinky little trampoline that we have in the office for a minute or two. The funny thing is that I always read about rebounding and how the aerobic metabolism works so I know that by spending as little time as I do on the rebounder doesn’t actually give me any of those benefits.

The lymphatic workout that rebounding is supposedly so great for takes a high quality rebounder and at least four minutes of fast bounces. I spent two minutes on a poor quality rebounder that doesn’t even have the decency to use springs so I probably only got a fraction of the bounces that I needed.

There are other benefits that I may have gleaned however. I did successfully perform a few plyometric jumps off the rebounder which really caused my legs to hurt for the next five days. I don’t think that these would require me purchasing my own rebounder however because I could have just as easily done these with the use of a slab of cement that I jumped off of.

Diagram for looking like a pompous jerk

It was interesting to see this routine practiced in the Olympics: professional Olympians walking like they have some sort of issue with their rear end, moving as quickly as possible while keeping one leg planted on the ground throughout the race, sweating.  Not to say these guys weren’t impressive, they most certainly were, but you can’t say they were not completely idiotic looking as well. I understand the double negative there.

Ok, so we have established the cons of speed walking: it makes you look like an imbecile.  But what are the pros?  Burns calories, works the entire body, makes you look like you are buffoon… sorry that is something I just can’t get over.  Why on earth would you rather speed walk then run?

Let’s compare running and speed walking shall we.

• They both will burn calories, though running is going to burn more calories faster than speed walking will.

• They will both make you look idiotic; however, speed walking is definitely going to look more unnatural and idiotic than running will.

• They will both stimulate the lymphatic system. Yes, but running is going to stimulate the lymphatic system more than 100 percent more than speed walking.

So in conclusion, if you are exercising to look like an idiot then speed walking is the exercise for you.  On the other hand if you are trying to exercise for physical gain and better health then you want to start running.  Don’t worry though, every once in a while you can still speed walk when no one is looking if you really want to.

Why would you need to swim in place when you are already contained in a pool?  I can see the point to running on a treadmill, because you can take it inside and watch television while you do it.  Sticking a post on the side of your pole and tying yourself to it doesn’t move the pool inside and it probably won’t even help you watch television.  I wonder what was going through the manufactures mind when they were making these, and what the heck was the publicist thinking, did they actually think they would be sold.  Whoever invented this, I am sorry to say, doesn’t know the point of inventions.

This only inconveniences the swimmer.  It doesn’t in any way make you a better swimmer.  You can’t turn up the resistance or increase the incline.  It really has only one function, and that is attaching to a harness that it comes with.  Perhaps it is considered safer because the risk of swimming out into the deep end is replaced with being entangled in a rope?

Just thought I would share the most pointless exercise machine on the entire planet. You are welcome.

When you exercise not only are you straining the body and literally tearing muscles apart, but you are also increasing blood flow and circulation.  Blood is really fun.  If you haven’t learned about blood you need to, because it will make you smile.  This crimson current that runs through your veins is going to carry nutrients to every cell in your body.  Any time you are sick your blood will carry nutrients to the infected cells and, hopefully, cure them.

So when you exercise you create a chain reaction of events in your body: you stimulate blood flow, the increase blood flow carries nutrients through the body, the increase in nutrients helps rebuild cells. The last part of the process is the most important and astounding.

“The increase in nutrients helps rebuild cells”.  This means muscle cells will be constructed to make you stronger, and also organ cells and tissue cells will be fortified and strengthened which will help your health.  So perhaps the brain releases endorphins because instinctively it knows that exercising is helping it in every single way possible.

The point of this little lesson on endorphins and blood and nutrients: go exercise.  I promise you won’t regret it.

On the bright side muscles are good at repairing themselves too, and during this period of restoration is when the magic happens.  Basically, your muscles are going to over-repair themselves.  So that the next time you start exercising the muscles will be ready to handle the workout.  The body is adaptable, meaning if there is a challenge or a resistance of some kind the body is going to do its best to compensate so the challenges do not seem so challenging. Does that make sense?

The bad thing about an adaptable body is that you have to keep switching your workout routine otherwise you will just plateau.   Your muscles will get used to a habitual routine and you will stop developing muscles.  This is basically what makes programs like P90X so effective. It just capitalizes on muscle confusion.

Since the muscles first have to be ripped apart before they can start to grow there is another variable that is in the equation.  As the old adage goes “you are what you eat”.  Literally everything you eat is going to be broken down into little nutrients that will later be turned into different cells throughout the body. Protein is one of the ingredients used to make muscle mass, but it also takes vitamins and minerals for the protein synthesis to occur. I am saying you won’t develop new muscles unless you have a healthy diet.

In conclusion exercise and tear up your muscles, and also eat healthy foods.  That is how you gain muscles mass.  Oh yeah, you need to rest too because your body can’t synthesize muscle mass unless you are resting.

As people age, they generally tend to drift more toward the gym scene, despite it being more expensive and less convenient. There is something of a social benefit, I suppose. But true fitness isn’t acquired for anyone else other than yourself.  So if you are really looking to get fit it is time you start making it personal.

The best way to do this is to exercise by yourself, try to compete against yourself, see if you can beat your own best score.  This is the best way to start building a fit body.  And you do not need a home gym to do this—though that would be helpful— all you need is calisthenics, which are freely available to everyone who has a capable pair of arms and legs.

Look at how capable his arms are.

Being that calisthenics are usually performed in repetitive and rhythmic sets it only makes sense to turn some music on.  Get in tune with the beat of the song and put your exercise to that rhythm, using the music to distract  from the physical pain of exercise is a great way to push yourself to the very limit.

Calisthenics are exercises based around body weight resistance, which means you are exercising against your own body weight.  A pull-up requires you to pull up your entire body, similar with pushups and squats.  When you do these exercises you are also activating the muscles throughout your entire body, so to keep your spine in line and legs off the ground and what not.   This increases the caloric burn and also is going to work the core muscles.  Calisthenics, it turns out, is one of the best ways to build a lean toned figure.

Anyway, going to the gay was pretty much impossible for me for about two months and I have just barely started to go again and I’m not seeing any of the effects of it yet. I kind of feel like I’m a little bit below my personal average as far as physical fitness goes at the moment and I hope that spending time in the gym again will help me get above average and not just sitting in the middle.

On of the things that I think might help me stay in shape when I can’t get to the gym and might also help me get in great shape when I am able to go to the gym is remembering to do more home exercises. I started doing push ups a while ago but I’m not sure how much it did. Maybe I would have gotten out of shape even faster if I had not started doing them.

1. Exercise in the Cold

   It’s cold outside so you want to stay inside? Well if you decide to go out running in the cold anyways, your muscles work almost twice as hard than if it were warm outside. The reason that it works like this is because the cold air makes your muscles tense up and stretch less. The increase in tension makes the muscles exert more energy to move and as a result makes for a much more effective workout. So get out there and start moving!

2. Work Harder in the First Half of Your Workout

   According to a study from The College of New Jersey, exercising harder during the first half of your workout than the second half burns up to 23% more fat than doing it other way around. The reason for this is very similar to exercising in the cold. When you begin exercising you warm your muscles up. When they warm up it becomes easier to move around and you burn less energy moving. By making your first half more aggressive, you take advantage of your muscles not yet warmed up.

3. Faster and More Intense

   The more intense your workout is, the longer you will see the effects of it. Walking for 30 minutes is nice, but sprinting as fast as you can for 15 minutes is better. The reason behind this is that your metabolism is sped up a lot more from the short and quick sprinting than the long walking. The sped up metabolism can last hours and hours after your exercise is done.

Using these tips effectively will help you reach your workout goal quicker.

• 1 The Handstand
  

  It just looks like fun.

Open up that memory vault and imagine yourself as a kid on the front lawn, back when freeze-tag and hands-up-stands-up were the two greatest games.  You probably won’t recall how much of an exercise these games were, but that is because you were just a toddler and sore muscles didn’t really even mean anything back then.

Hand stands are the most enjoyable exercise you can do— most effective, no—but they are the most enjoyable.  They are extremely effective if you are trying to strengthen your deltoids and broaden your shoulders, but as for burning a load of calories and dropping numbers of pounds not as much.

Try to reinvigorate that child in you one more time see if you can get on your hands and walk around, but also be careful some people should not attempt walking on their hands.  If you want you can use a wall to prop yourself against just to make sure you won’t fall over.

• 2 Planking
  

  a little less fun, a lot more abdominal exercise

Less childish than the handstand, much more effective in burning calories, and best of all it is going to tighten your stomach and develop your abdomen.  This is an exercise that is a lot like a pushup, just without the push.  Simply rest your forearms on the ground and hold yourself up with your toes and forearms keeping your torso parallel to the ground.

Not the most enjoyable just because there is no real risk that you could topple over, but it is still fun to time yourself to see how long you can last in your planking position.  You probably think that holding a plank won’t do a lot, but after just 20 seconds you will be feeling an intense burn, which is your bodies way of telling you that you are having fun.

Work with this exercise daily to really sculpt and tight that abdomen.  This exercise can be done anywhere you are not afraid to put your forearms to the ground, and the best part is it is extremely effective.  Try it for yourself and see if you can add a few seconds to the hold each time you practice.

• 3 Burpees
  

  Most Fun and Most Effective

Despite sounding like a childish symptom of drinking too much soda pop “burpees” are actually one of the most effective whole body workouts on the planet.  That is probably why the U.S. military trains their soldiers by making them perform burpees all day.  Whoever named this exercise probably shouldn’t ever name anything ever again, but, hey, we are not complaining.

Essentially a burpee is just a squat, pushup, and a jump all rolled into one fun exercise.  So you perform a squat, then once your hands hit the ground fall forward into a pushup, pushup yourself back up to your feet, extend your feet as fast as you can so as to propel yourself as high as you can. Now if that isn’t fun than I don’t know what is.

The best part about this exercise is that it activates every muscle group in the entire body, depending on whether or not you are straining your face muscles to do the exercise.  This is one of the most effective ways to burn a huge amount of calories without even living your bedroom.